In today’s society, the concept of masculinity is evolving. Yet, it still carries a set of rigid expectations—especially regarding how men express themselves through fashion, such as underwear. One question that arises often is whether masculinity is defined unevenly across different sexual orientations. This issue has been present for as long as I’ve been writing the blog, likely much longer.
In the U.S., masculinity is seen differently than in many other parts of the world. When it comes to men’s underwear it’s often marketed toward gay men. The styles are bold, attention-grabbing, and expressive, designed to show off. But in recent years, more straight men have discovered a love for these same underwear styles. Some even love it more than their gay counterparts, but the reactions they face when they express this passion can be very different.
When straight men show an interest in underwear, especially if they share it with friends or on social media, they often face questions like, “Are you gay?” or “Are you trying to tell us something?” This response has less to do with the underwear itself and more to do with societal expectations of masculinity. Ironically, if a gay man wears the same pair of underwear, it’s usually accepted without question. People assume, “Oh, he’s gay, so that’s fine.” This double standard reflects a deeper issue in how masculinity is understood and enforced in society.
The truth is, no article of clothing—underwear or otherwise—is inherently tied to someone’s sexual orientation. In 2024, it feels absurd that people are still judged for their choice of underwear. We’re currently in a period of hyper-masculinity, where men are expected to adhere to rigid standards of what it means to be masculine. Things like wearing bright colors, bold prints, or non-traditional cuts of underwear can be seen as a challenge to that outdated idea.
But the younger generations are shaking things up. They’re wearing nail polish, experimenting with fashion, and rejecting the old rules of masculinity. Their courage to define masculinity for themselves, embracing what makes them feel good without worrying about societal judgment, is truly inspiring. This attitude is starting to spread to older generations as well. I’ve even seen men in their 40s and 50s wearing nail polish and adopting other ‘non-traditional’ forms of self-expression. Seeing this shift is not just great; it’s empowering, but we need the same acceptance regarding underwear.
A lot of men, both straight and gay, enjoy wearing skimpy thongs, bikinis, or bright, colorful briefs. However, there’s still a stigma, especially for straight men, that they’re only supposed to wear the basics: black, white, gray, or navy boxer briefs. Anything beyond that is seen as stepping outside the bounds of what’s considered ‘masculine.’ But here’s the thing—underwear is one of the few ways men can truly express themselves in their wardrobe, primarily if they work in environments where they must wear uniforms or business casual attire. Your underwear is something you have control over, and usually, no one sees it unless you decide to show them. Your fashion choices are valid and important for your self-expression.
As a community of underwear lovers, we need to stop judging others for their choices. It doesn’t matter if someone is gay, straight, or somewhere in between—the important thing is that they’re enjoying what they wear and expressing themselves through it. We should encourage each other, not question someone’s masculinity or sexual orientation based on what type of underwear they like. We’re all in this together, and there’s something beautiful about the diversity of people who love underwear.
In the larger conversation about masculinity, we’re at a crossroads. Old-school notions of masculinity, such as the expectation that men wear only ‘masculine’ underwear, are clinging on, but the younger generations are creating new rules. They don’t want to be defined by society’s rigid expectations, and that’s good. We should all embrace the idea of doing what makes us feel comfortable and happy without fear of judgment from others.
What’s particularly interesting to me is the difference in how gay men and straight men are treated when it comes to underwear. As a gay man, I’ve experienced the freedom to wear whatever I want, and most people will shrug it off with, “Oh, he’s gay, so it makes sense.” But when a straight man embraces underwear that’s a little more colorful or form-fitting, it often comes with questions and stigma. I’ve seen this double standard in action, and it’s something that needs to change. We should all have the freedom to enjoy our underwear, no matter who we are or how we identify.
Ultimately, this issue raises more significant questions about masculinity and how it’s changing. We must dig deep and ask ourselves why these stigmas exist, why we continue enforcing them, and how we can move past them. I plan to explore these topics further in future podcast episodes with other voices who can help provide insight. But for now, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
We can create a more inclusive and accepting society by breaking down these barriers. Please message me on social media, leave a comment, or email me, and let’s talk about masculinity, underwear, and how we can all work to break down these outdated barriers.
