Underwear and Masculinity – What are the rules of underwear?

Let’s talk about masculinity. In our ongoing series on masculinity and underwear, I wanted to discuss whether there are rules in men’s underwear. It goes without saying that for most people, especially in the United States, men are expected to wear certain types of underwear. Looking at our media and everything, you see guys in TV movies, usually in boxers, boxer briefs, or trunks. Rarely do you see briefs unless it’s a joke, and if you see thongs, it’s either a stripper or a joke. It’s time we sit down and talk about the rules of underwear in the US.

First off, I think that there should be no rules for underwear. It should be up to the person wearing it to determine what they like, want to wear, and what is off-limits to them. I don’t think it’s up to anyone else in society or anywhere else to determine what is considered “masculine” and what is not. That’s a big problem right now because we have many straight readers who don’t show their underwear, and we have gay readers, too, who won’t go to the gym wearing something other than compression gear or bare black trunks. They won’t wear a bikini, jock, or thong because they don’t want the attention.

I’ve worn thongs to the gym, and I’ve worn bikinis. I never really think about it; it’s just my underwear. It didn’t hit me until I was talking to someone who said they would never wear a thong or bikini to the gym. It blew me away because it never crossed my mind in my many years of wearing underwear. It doesn’t bother me to be seen in underwear if I drop my pants or something; it’s just natural and normal to me. But it’s different for most guys who are not reading this blog or listening to our podcast. It’s time we change that because guys shouldn’t have to stress about what they will wear to the doctor or the gym.

We need to let guys focus on who they are. I think, for a large portion of guys out there, especially straight guys, they’re not able to explore underwear the way a lot of gay guys have over the years. Being gay, underwear, to me, goes hand in hand. It’s something I enjoy and a way to express myself further. I always associated it with my sexual identity. You see a hot guy in underwear, and you’re like, “Ooh, whatever your definition of a hot guy is.” It’s ingrained, and when I date someone, I buy them underwear. I don’t think a lot of straight guys have that experience coming of age and discovering underwear. It happens, but it’s not as open and accessible as it is in the gay community. However, that’s changing. In the last couple of years, many straight guys have come forward, sending emails and commenting about how much they love underwear. Many have hidden it, but they’re not hiding it anymore.

We have John on the podcast, whose wife loves him differently. That’s so great to hear, and it sends me over the moon that women are enjoying the sexier side of underwear. I think the whole masculinity thing plays into it because a lot of people get hung up on the idea that “you have to be this kind of masculine man.” There are no rules about masculinity anymore. You get to be whoever you want to be. Today, guys are wearing nail polish, which they didn’t do ten years ago, and some are starting to wear makeup. It doesn’t matter anymore, especially to the younger generations. Unfortunately, the older generations I’m part of get hung up on things. But if you enjoy it, you’re not hurting anyone, and everyone’s consenting, do you? I may not like it, it may not be for me, but I’m not going to condemn you for doing it.

We’re seeing more guys step out of the masculinity box. Men in lingerie have taken off around the same time, maybe a little after thongs. Guys are wearing lace, stockings, and all sorts of things. This isn’t about cross-dressing; it’s just about wearing something different. There are several guys I follow online who exclusively wear lingerie, and they love it. They look fantastic in it, and I’m so happy these guys are wearing it, putting themselves out there, and enjoying this side of themselves that society says they should not want. It’s just an article of clothing; it won’t make you gay or transgender. It’s just you expressing who you are, which is the most fantastic thing.

We all need to rebel against toxic masculinity. We need to reject the notion that you can only be a man if you wear boxers or boxer briefs and that no self-respecting man would wear thongs. That’s all BS. We need to stand up together and start embracing what we love. I built UNB on the idea that it’s for every guy, not just gay guys. I consciously made an effort back in the day to attract straight guys to read my blog, and it happened. Everyone told me I was crazy, but it happened. Now, more guys are coming around because I wanted to share my love for underwear. They’re listening to the podcast. I’m amazed by the guys who comment on how they relate to the stories we discuss, hearing us talk about things on their minds, things they don’t have someone to talk to about. It’s incredible.

Guys, we all need to start talking about underwear. Say what you like with friends and in public if you’re bold. Just be yourself, and don’t give a fuck if someone doesn’t like it. I’ve gone out with people who preferred me in something other than a bikini, jock, or thong—whatever I was going to wear—and wanted me in something more masculine. That’s a deal breaker for me. If you try to change my underwear, I give you the finger, and I’m out. I’ve lived too long to be who I am to change for someone else. You cannot ask someone else to change who they are. Underwear is ingrained in my DNA, and I am not giving that up for anyone. I would rather be single than have to give up my underwear, and you know, I’m happy being single.

So, I hope you guys will spread the word that masculinity should not play a factor or have rules in your underwear world. It would help if you enjoyed it. Step out of your comfort zone every so often. Try something new that you would never have tried before. I’ve discovered so many things that way, especially with the blog, that I never would have considered, but after trying it, I was like, “Oh my God, this is amazing.” We all must look at new things objectively and not just judge them. You may not like it, and that’s fine. No one has to enjoy everything in underwear. But if you keep trying and exploring, you’ll have a fantastic underwear life. And that’s what we’re all after. So, again, don’