Why This Campaign Exists
During an Instagram chat, I told a friend to “free the bulge.” He suggested launching it as a campaign and creating a logo. I took the challenge, expecting just a fun logo and post. But the more I thought about it, the more it felt integral to UNB. It’s about confidently wearing what you want, loving what you love, and having support.
About 10 years ago, I tried the Swim Brief Challenge. It didn’t take off, partly due to my lack of promotion and the timing. Now, I’m looking for new creative ways to share what UNB is about. This campaign fits perfectly. It covers much of what we post and discuss. So, “Free the Bulge” was born.
Before I dive in, answer these questions for yourself.
When did we start hiding ourselves? In the 80s, Speedos were a regular sight—on beaches, on TV, and everywhere in between. Men wore them openly back then.
What are we afraid of? When you talk to some guys, wearing bikinis to the gym, and having other guys see you sends them into a panic attack. Having anyone see them in something that isn’t “normal” is terrifying.
Do we care more about what strangers think than what we think? Why do we put so much weight on what strangers think about what we are wearing and censor ourselves for others’ approval?
What “Free the Bulge” Actually Means
By “Free the Bulge,” I don’t mean showing off in shock-value spandex or being an exhibitionist. It’s not sexual. It’s about removing shame from men showing their bodies and rejecting toxic masculinity.
Let’s look at the gear I am talking about, Swim Briefs or “Speedos” are made for swimming. Guys use these to swim laps, compete, and win gold medals in Speedos (well, they used to in the Olympics). Compression gear like Under Armour is made for working out, playing sports, and training. Cycling kit is made for cycling and spin classes and serves a purpose. Lastly, spandex has a long history as a fabric for aerobics, dancing, sports gear, and more.
What do all these things have in common? Guys wear them for the perspective activity without shame or worrying what others say about them. Seeing a guy standing on a starting block in googles, Speedo, and a swim cap, you don’t bat an eye. If you go to a college and see the football team in compression gear, it’s part of the game. Seeing a guy standing beside a bike in his cycling kit is just part of being a cyclist. And lastly, you see a guy in spandex dancing, it’s not something you go, “What is he wearing?”
I want us to get to the point where we can go out, run errands in our tights, and no one even cares. Or we wear our Speedos to the local pool or beach, yank our shorts off, and just enjoy the day. Where we don’t give it a thought, and we can live our lives to the fullest. I know from my sexuality that having to hide who you are from everyone is tiring. It’s its own coming out process in a way, not as serious as sexuality, but I know plenty want to be open with their love. Some guys even hide it from the people closest to them, like family, friends, and even partners.
The Confidence Ladder: Practical Ways to Start
How can we fix this? I’m not saying that we break out the swim briefs tomorrow and say “HERE I AM!” We have to advance in our own comfort zones. I have created some ways to help you ease into wearing what you love.
Vacation Mode – Low Risk Environment
If you go on vacation, even to another nearby city, pack the swim briefs and just wear them. You don’t know anyone there and will probably never see them again. Drop the shorts, lie out, and just enjoy the sun.
In short
· Pack Swim Brief
· Travel to the destination – beach, cruise, or resort.
· Put on swim briefs – maybe with a pair of shorts over.
· Get to the beach or pool, remove shorts, and enjoy the sun!
You may give another guy the confidence to break out the swim brief they packed. He wants to do the same thing, and seeing you wear it gives him permission to break his out! The more we do this, the more guys will join in.
Why is this low stress
· It’s freeing to be anonymous – you may remember this experience as a life-changing event, but most people won’t remember or recall you or that you wore a Speedo.
· Most People Don’t Care – In reality, most people don’t care, and if you listen to the Brief Talk Podcast, very few people have any negative experiences. It’s rare that someone comes out and says anything to you.
· You get a confidence boost – You may be nervous about dropping your shorts for the first time, but after a day in the sun, when you forget all about wearing swim briefs, it will give you even more confidence next time. This is real power, because all those ideas you had built up in your head were just anxiety and not reality.
Friendly Territory – Normalize It
If you want to wear something and want to do it without worry, go somewhere friendly. A place where you know guys will be wearing the same things or, in many cases, a lot less. One great example is Hollywood Beach in Chicago, where Speedos and thongs are not only welcome but also encouraged. You know, going there, it’s part of the culture to wear smaller swimwear. In fact, in that situation, it’s perfectly normal, and I would dare to say that wearing boardshorts would get you the reaction you would expect wearing a Speedo to a family event.
Other places to wear:
· Speedos – LGBTQ+ beaches, Resort pools, Nude beaches, countries where they are accepted (Australia, parts of Europe, and more).
· Spandex – Cycling groups, spin classes, gyms (especially bodybuilding gyms), running groups, and other fitness activities. It’s about the activity, not the gear, so you can stop stressing about the gear and focus on other things.
· Underwear – wear something not so “classic” to the gym. Wear colored briefs in a bolder color like green, orange, or yellow instead of white, grey, black, or navy. Wear a bikini in a classic color, no one will notice the bikini because it’s one of those four colors.
It’s about taking your mind off the anxiety and focusing on what you are doing. The more you do this, the less you will worry. This will give you confidence to get to the point where you are wearing exactly what you want without any hesitation or anxiety.
Again, the more we make this normal and a part of life, the more guys will wear what they want because it’s scary to be the first person to break out of the mold. It’s natural to fit in and not rock the boat, but we need these “rule breakers” to give guys permission to be themselves.
Safety in Numbers – Go With Friends
This one is not for everyone. If you are lucky enough to have friends who love the same thing you do, and even if they have been brave enough to wear what they want, it gives you the power to step out in numbers. If you see a group of guys in Speedos, you don’t worry about what others will say because very few will confront a group rather than an individual.
You can also match gear, and make it a theme, and each of you breaks out something fun! Plus, this creates a shared experience where you can feed off each other’s confidence. If you or one of your friends starts to express doubt, the others can encourage them to stick with the plan and do it, because they are not alone.
Imagine six guys going to the beach. They look like ordinary guys, in tees/tanks, shorts, and sunglasses. Then, all of a sudden, the shirts and shorts come off, and instead of feeling on full display, you have a great day with friends who all look like you. That is power right here; it’s almost like a brotherhood that bonds you. It will soon become something normal for all of you!
Gym Strategy for Beginners
The gym can be scary for numerous reasons. As someone who wishes I had time to join a gym and get in better shape, it’s anxiety-inducing to me. Walking into a place where there are buff bods and everyone knows what they are doing, when I couldn’t tell you what most machines do in the gym. Add on the anxiety from wearing spandex, and it can be panic attack territory.
When I was younger and in much better shape, I used to wear singlets and tees, spandex tights, thongs under my spandex, and more. I was bold as fuck back then. Now I’m not so confident in wearing those to the gym. I have issues with these things as well. But we both have a way to make this happen.
· Wear darker colors – if you are going to wear spandex, wear tights that are black, navy, or similar dark/classic colors. It won’t draw attention to the spandex, and probably most people won’t notice what you are wearing.
· As you get comfortable, add in a racing stripe or some color. I’m not saying rock the vintage ’90s Nike Tights, but just buy things you feel comfortable wearing and being seen in. You may never reach the point where you put on the neon striped tights, but if you do, rock it and own it. It’s about building that confidence over time.
Addressing the Fear Directly
Let’s address it if the worst happens. If someone comments, complains, or even your own doubts get into your head. The last is normal, and I face it all the time.
· What does someone look like? People look at others; sometimes it’s just people watching, with no judgment intended. In fact, some may go, well, he looks great in those. We need to imagine the good comments as well.
· People are going to judge me – Most people just don’t care, and those who will judge you have their own insecurities that make them judgmental. So if they say something, just say thanks for your opinion and move on; don’t let their opinion dampen your confidence.
· I don’t have the perfect body – Let’s be frank, guys, even if they are fitness models or bodybuilders, they have issues with their bodies as well. I know very few people who are happy with their bodies; we always point out the flaws that no one else sees. I am totally guilty of this all the time. We need to be kinder to ourselves, myself included.
The Bigger Theme: Masculinity & Shame
Let’s take on the big topic here: masculinity and shame. Why is it that we, as men, are taught to hide ourselves and not feel like sexual beings? Women can be objectified and wear sexy clothes, but men are supposed to be stoic and not wear anything that makes them stand out. I love it when I feel sexy in what I am wearing, and it makes me so confident.
One thing I’m constantly tired of hearing in our society today is “A real man wouldn’t…” To that, I say a real man would do whatever the fuck he wants. He doesn’t care what you think about him, his sexuality, or his masculinity. He’s comfortable in who he is. Instead of policing me for not being manly enough, we need to encourage men to be their authentic selves.
Lastly, there is the clothing double standard. When you go to Miami and see all the women in thongs, no one bats an eye; in fact, it’s encouraged that they wear as little as possible. But when a man wears a similar cut, he’s being vulgar, a show off, and feminine. Clothes do not define sexuality, masculinity, or femininity. It’s just fabric, and it’s up to the person wearing it to define what it means for them.
Breaking this down further, there are things gay and straight men face that are different. On the gay side, we have the “we need the perfect body.” That is, we must have abs, pecs, and perfect everything. And the toxic masculinity comes into play here as well. The whole “masc4masc” and no femms come to mind. If you know, you know. We still face these issues that have plagued the community for years. I think gay men can have some of the most toxic masculinity ideals of any other group.
As for straight men, they face a challenge that, because they are wearing something “not masculine,” their sexuality should be questioned. As if wearing sexy undies or tight spandex will turn one gay. And this is their way of coming out, when in fact it’s their way to express what they like and enjoy. It’s frustrating that guys have to go through either of these situations. It’s time we set our own rules and not follow stifling rules imposed by others.
FREE THE BULGE
This summer, Free the Bulge. Wear that brief to the gym you’ve been putting off. Skip putting those shorts over your spandex; wear that Speedo/thong you have been dying to wear. It is just taking up space for that “one day” you will wear it. Make today the day you wear it. Lastly, showing up in any of these is showing up as yourself. It shows the world that you enjoy your choices and are confident in them.
I would love to hear your experiences with taking that first step to wear what you love! It could have happened 20 years ago or 20 minutes ago. There is no shame in when it happened; all that matters is that it happened. Or if you haven’t done it, share with me why you haven’t. I am here to listen and encourage you to take that next step. I won’t judge you or make you feel less than because you didn’t do it yet; the time wasn’t right for you. Let’s find that right time and make it happen.
Depending on the feedback, I may include this in the podcast. I think these stories are some of the most empowering we have to tell. Even admitting you’re anxious about doing it is power. Let’s build an amazing, supportive community. Here’s what we can do to make that happen:
· Support – when someone does something for the first time, congratulations are in order. Also post postiive comments on social media for guys taking risks and pushing the envelope.
· Share – Share your own story. I don’t think we open up about our insecurities and anxiety often enough. Let’s get rid of the shame and let people in the future not think about this, and just do it.
· Lead by Example – if you already have the courage, lead by example and show yourself in situations that others may find difficult. Like the only guy in a speedo on eeh beach. Wearing bold colored tights to the gym, or that hot lace thong under your business suit. Confidence is contagious and will spread.
Let me know your thoughts, and let’s keep building this community bigger and better.
