Many of us find ourselves grappling with the pressures of masculinity at some point in our journey to adulthood. Society often imposes a narrow definition of what it means to be a man—a stoic, strong, and muscular figure who keeps his emotions hidden. This notion of masculinity gets stuck in our heads, and we portray this on social media.
I bring this up because I have asked many guys to be on the podcast, and they feel their real lives, the way they talk and act, are not “masculine” enough. This way of thinking has always blown my mind. When told this, I’m like, “WHAT?” It blew me away when I was told this once, but several times, it’s a problem.
Why should you not put on a persona?
- Don’t be something you are not. We all want to be bigger and more popular than we are at times. But pretending to be ‘uber-masc’ will eventually be discovered. Just portray yourself as a ‘good guy.’ People on social media will find no reason to criticize people who put themselves out there. If being ‘less masc’ is a secret, someone will see it and may start spreading rumors. My voice is not the ‘butchest,’ but doing the podcast has led me to like my voice, and it is who I am.
- Embracing your true self on social media can empower you and boost your confidence. By portraying a ‘masc’ guy, you are perpetrating stereotypes. The guys I hit it off with the most on social media are those who are open about who they are. They embrace all parts of their personality. Sure, we all want to change something about ourselves, but improving yourself for yourself is different from doing it for others.
- Let’s encourage openness and acceptance of diverse identities, making everyone feel included and respected. You may not be ” the same as you are on social” in real life. Nothing is worse than being known for your persona and then discovering that you are in no way like the persona. People think you are a fraud or sham. They will feel like you lied to them about who you are and not sure what to believe is the real you. Social media is about being authentic and open.
How do we tackle this issue?
- We have to accept people for who they are. One phrase that comes to mind is, “When he opened his mouth, his purse fell out.” We should discard this line of thinking from our vocabulary. No one can live up to “uber-masculine” ideas. I’m not the most well-adjusted person on the planet, but masculinity has never played into who I date or go out with. In other words, I have never been a “Masc Only” or “Str8 Acting” kind of guy.
- Show your true self on social media – Don’t hide things about yourself on social media if you have a ‘not butch’ voice, who cares. If people meet you in person, they will hear your actual voice. It’s better to put it out there and not have to worry. Guys are going to find your secret. Embracing your true self can make you feel comfortable and at ease, knowing that you are accepted for who you are. Have non-masculine moments on social media – I don’t care what your sexual orientation we all have those non-masc moments in our lives. Whether it’s enjoying a rom-com, crying during a touching movie, or being vulnerable about your feelings, I give props to a guy who embraces his feminine side and doesn’t worry about what others think. Share and promote ordinary guys – When I say this, I mean guys who may not be the strapping lad with a six-pack, but a regular guy, a geeky guy, or even a ‘beefy guy’ (a term used to describe a man with a larger, more muscular build). There are good and bad – I share my bad days as well as my good days. I appreciate that in others, I follow as well. We are not always at our best, and sometimes we struggle. Sharing something like a bad mental day won’t make you look feminine. It makes you look human. I prefer to follow people who admit to a mental struggle. Anxiety is a bitch; as someone who suffers from it, I can tell you, some days, having a friend or online friends, you can say, “Hey, I’m not having an ok day,” it is a great thing and has helped me.
Sorry, I got on my soapbox, but I’m trying to do more personal writing. After the podcast, I wanted to do something other than journalistic-style stuff and focused on what I thought I always excelled at here: talking about real issues and sharing my side. There will be a lot more of these kinds of posts. Well, it’s not a list, but I’m tackling more masculinity and some of my favorite/pet peeve things in the underwear world.
