I’ve been more active on my Twitter this year, sharing more photos than ever before. In my younger days, I used to post pictures of myself in various stages of undress and underwear all over the internet. However, over the past decade, I gained weight and started feeling bad about myself. I hated the way I looked and didn’t feel attractive when I looked in the mirror.
I know that I’ve posted pictures and received positive responses from guys, but I wasn’t happy with the way I looked. I know many of you out there can relate. Whether you’re in great shape or struggling with weight like me, we all have our issues, and let’s face it: I still have mine. These issues won’t just disappear overnight.
In January 2024, I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes and had to decide whether to make changes now or deal with serious consequences later. I chose to make changes now and focus on my health to avoid potential problems in the future. I have family members with diabetes, and I’ve seen the impact it can have on the body. I decided to let this diagnosis motivate me rather than scare me, knowing that it’s possible to reverse these conditions. It hasn’t been easy, but I know that I’m doing this for myself and not for anyone else.
I’ve set a goal for myself, and I’m proud to say that I’ve already lost 60 pounds and dropped three pants sizes. This is a significant achievement, but my main goal is to maintain this progress and reach my target weight of 225 pounds. At 6’4″, I believe this is a healthy weight for me. I started at 337 pounds and I’m currently at 270. As Lady Gaga says, “I’m on the right track, baby.”
One of the biggest victories for me has been switching from XL to Large underwear (in most major American brands). While it’s bittersweet to outgrow my favorite clothes, I’m excited about being able to wear new brands that I couldn’t fit into before.
I still don’t take as many photos as Stevie or others on the podcast. I admit, I’m not great at taking selfies. JD, who has been on the podcast, says I can improve, but it takes practice. I appreciate the positive feedback I receive when I post photos, but I still struggle with seeing myself as an overweight guy who doesn’t look good in anything. Will this change? I don’t know, but I hope it will as things move in a better direction.
I also want to address how other issues can affect body image. I have a lot of stress in my life, with two part-time jobs and the search for a full-time job. Dealing with underemployment is stressful, and when I add body image concerns to the mix, it becomes all-consuming. I tend to hyper-focus on my body because it’s something I feel I can change, and it distracts me from other problems. Is this healthy? Probably not, but it’s a habit I’ve developed. When the rest of your life feels like a mess, it amplifies the body issues I have.
It’s important for us to come together as a community and have open conversations about this, regardless of our size, shape, or anything else. Even muscular guys and larger guys have their own body image issues, and we shouldn’t dismiss their struggles. Body image issues aren’t always rational; they’re often fueled by anxiety. We need to support all guys who are dealing with these issues. If you’re struggling, you can always reach out to me. My schedule may be busy, but I can make time to chat and provide a safe space for you to open up. It’s not easy to talk about these things for the first time, and you might feel like your issues are insignificant, but they’re not. They are unique to you and can have a real impact on your mental health.
Like you, I’m working through my own challenges and doing my best. I try to be open and share my true self with you—the good and the bad—because it’s important for you to see that even on days when I’m excelling with the podcast, I might be struggling mentally (like I was the other week). It’s okay to say, “I’m not okay.” I’ve done it many times. It doesn’t mean you’re not strong; it means you need someone to support you. When I know I have that support, I feel much better.
Sorry for rambling. I just wanted to share this with you. I’m trying to write more in the blog, but it’s been tough with my schedule and the podcast. I promise to do more soon.