One thing I definitely want the Free the Bold movement to address is having difficult conversations.
What does that mean? It means being open with our partners and friends about what we love, why we love it, and what it means to us.
I know it can be difficult to explain why someone might own 400 pairs of underwear—or why underwear and gear bring them so much joy. Many of us have tried to explain it, only to feel like the other person still doesn’t understand. That can be incredibly frustrating.
One of the biggest misconceptions is that our love of underwear and gear is purely sexual. Yes, sexuality can be part of it, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But it’s far from the whole story.
For me, this community has also brought happiness, confidence, friendship, and connection. When you meet someone who shares this passion, you can skip the awkward explanations. You already understand one another on a level that many people in our lives may not.
We can geek out over our favorite styles and brands. We can talk about how certain pieces make us feel. We can celebrate what we love without embarrassment or shame. That shared understanding can become the foundation for genuinely meaningful friendships.
But I’ve also spoken with many guys—gay, bi, and straight—who struggle to discuss this part of themselves with their partners. They brush it aside, keep it hidden, or participate through alternate accounts. Their partners may see them sharing photos or engaging with the community and wonder what it means: Are they trying to meet someone? Are they looking to hook up? Why are they doing this?
Often, the answer is much simpler. We’re participating in a community. We’re sharing something we love, expressing how we feel about ourselves, and exchanging knowledge with people who understand.
It’s so much fun to meet someone who is genuinely passionate about a particular style or brand and ask why they love it. Thong lovers are a perfect example. Talk to someone who loves wearing thongs, and you’ll quickly discover how much enthusiasm, knowledge, and personality can exist around one style of underwear.
These are the conversations we need to start having—not only within our community, but beyond it.
Talk to your partner. Talk to your friends. Recommend something you love. Tell someone, “You should try this—it makes me feel incredible.” Yes, the conversation might feel awkward at first. But openness is how we challenge shame and change the way people think.
If we continue treating this part of ourselves as something that must be hidden, other people will continue seeing it that way. Growth begins when we give ourselves permission to speak honestly and confidently.
I’ve heard stories from guys who finally talked about underwear with friends they had known for years. The conversation might begin with an awkward, “Wait—what are you wearing?” But once they start talking, they often find curiosity and understanding where they expected judgment.
We need to reach beyond our own circles and help more guys feel sexy, confident, and desired. So many men want that feeling but haven’t explored it because they’re afraid of being mocked.
Let’s show them that it’s okay to wear what they love. It’s okay to feel sexy. It’s okay to feel good in their bodies—and to enjoy that moment when the pants come off and someone sees what’s underneath.
So, have the difficult conversation.
If you’ve already had one, tell me how it went—the good, the bad, or the awkward. We need to share more, talk more, and keep showing up for one another.
And if you need advice before starting that conversation, I’m always here.
