When I came up with the name “Free the Bulge,” it was meant to draw attention to the campaign. It’s not about being provocative, showing off, being overly sexual, or even just showing your body. It’s about feeling comfortable in your own skin and having the confidence to wear what you love. This isn’t about getting approval from others, or because your body changed, or because you suddenly became fearless. It’s about showing up, celebrating small wins, and building on them.
Showing up is Harder than you think:
I know you hear our podcasts and hear about guys going to thonger weekends or the beach, just dropping their shorts and being out there for everyone to see. Many of us, myself included, wear board shorts over Speedos, avoid bold colors to stay unnoticed, cover up at the beach or pool, skip posting pictures in our gear, and avoid trying new things. Lately, I’ve been working on going to the pool or beach without putting on shorts to walk around. I just wear the swim brief and try not to worry about it.
I think a lot of us ask, “Is it okay to wear this?” instead of, “Do I like wearing this?” We let what we think others value cloud our own judgment and tell ourselves, “No, I shouldn’t wear this” for whatever reason. Try asking yourself if you like it, and if the answer is yes, go ahead and wear it.
The Rules No One Gave us:
Growing up as men, we had a lot of rules to follow. But who made these rules we stick to? How long have they been around, and do we really need to follow them now? Let’s take a look at some of these rules:
- Don’t stand out.
- Don’t wear bright colors.
- Don’t show confidence.
- Don’t wear fitted gear.
- Don’t care too much about appearance.
- Don’t look “too gay.”
- Don’t look too confident.
I think we ended up with these rules because they were reinforced by the media, our families, friends, and even locker room culture. It’s time for us, as men, to break these rules and create new ones that reflect who we really are, not some old idea of what a man or masculinity should be.
Confidence isn’t the same as attention.
Confidence isn’t about hoping people notice you. It’s about feeling good in what you’re wearing. We all have our own struggles, and honestly, there’s nothing wrong with showing off and getting attention. But most of us wear what we do because it makes us feel great. It fits well and highlights our best features. You feel sexy wearing it, and that confidence comes through. It also shows who you are. I love bold colors and prints, but not everyone wants to wear a pink flamingo swim brief.
It feels great when you get to the point where you’re not looking for validation and just wear what you love. The first few times you put on that thong or swim brief, you might feel self-conscious, but after a while, it starts to feel natural. Eventually, it becomes part of who you are, and you stop worrying about what others think.
Showing up looks different for everyone.
What does showing up mean? There’s no single answer. For one guy, wearing a swim brief in public is a way to show up and help make swim briefs more accepted in his community. For another, just having the courage to buy a swim brief is a big step. Everyone is at a different point in their journey, and we should encourage each other to keep going.
There are other ways to show up, like posting a picture online. I know this can be hard—I struggle with it too. Putting yourself out there and being vulnerable isn’t easy. We’re sharing a big part of ourselves with the world. Everyone has their own body issues, and we’re often our own harshest critics. But we, myself included, need to start posting pictures and sharing what we love.
Another way to show up is by telling someone else that you love underwear, swim briefs, swim thongs, or gear. Saying it out loud is powerful. When you meet someone who understands you and lets you be yourself, it’s a huge relief and can open up your world.
Your Story doesn’t need to look like everyone else’s
This means your journey is your own. While others may influence you, it’s still your path, and you get to decide what you wear, how you share it, and with whom. Not everyone wants to wear a thong, share pictures, or stand out. It’s not about becoming someone else—it’s about becoming more of who you truly are. Try what you want, and if you don’t like something, that’s okay.
Build Community, Don’t Perform
Showing off is fun, and lots of guys in the community enjoy it, but there’s more to our community than just showing off your gear or how good you look in it. It’s also about building connections. Notice new guys, encourage them with comments or DMs, and make them feel welcome. If someone messages you about what brand you wore or how something fits, be friendly. Ask questions and have a real conversation, not just one-word replies.
When you start talking to someone, go beyond just talking about gear. Gear brings us together, but we all have other interests and hobbies. I think it’s great when a conversation turns into a real friendship and you get to know the person. Have real conversations, and then bring up underwear or Speedos too. Friends get to know each other and share who they are.
We need to celebrate confidence at every level. I try to comment on pictures and tell guys how great they look, giving positive feedback. Remember to support guys who aren’t muscle gods—regular and bigger guys need encouragement too. Step out of your comfort zone and be a positive force in the community.
My Challenge to You
What does showing up look like for me, and what do I want you guys to do?
- – Wear that swim brief you have put away, break it out and wear it!
- – Wear some fun colors, I say, if you think people are going to stare, give them a reason to stare, wear a bold pink thong, neon bikini, or my favorite Flamingos.
- – Compliment someone online you don’t know, tell them how good they look.
- – Don’t apologize for what you like to wear, wear it, and let’s normalize it for all guys.
- – Share your story. We all have a story, and we should share our origin story; it doesn’t have to be on the podcast. You could share on your social media.
What is Free the Bulge
Free the Bulge was never about being the loudest person in the room. It’s not about proving anything or showing off. It’s about showing up as your true self. It’s about welcoming others into the community and being a friendly face. I love talking to people, so send me a DM or email and let’s chat. Let’s make this the best community we can, welcoming our gay, straight, and bi brothers. Underwear and gear aren’t about sexuality—they’re about letting ourselves feel sexy, confident, and welcome. Let’s grow this movement together.
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