Brief Talk Podcast – Dating, Kinks, and Communication: When to Be Honest with Dr Ty

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One of the biggest questions we hear from listeners is:

“When do I tell someone I’m into underwear?”

Whether your passion is briefs, bikinis, thongs, jocks, lingerie, spandex, or another fetish, talking about it with a partner can feel intimidating. Should you bring it up on the first date? Wait until you’re in a relationship? What if you’ve been together for years and have never said anything?

This week, UNB Tim sits down with clinical sexologist and sex therapist Dr. Ty to answer those questions and many more.

Together they explore how to communicate openly about kinks, why honesty builds stronger relationships, and why shame has no place in healthy sexuality.

This conversation isn’t just about underwear—it’s about authenticity, communication, and finding partners who accept you for who you really are.

In This Episode

Why the timing of sharing your kink depends on how important it is to your sexuality
The difference between a casual interest, a fetish, and a primary kink
Why honesty early in dating can actually save relationships
How hiding a major kink can unintentionally feel like a “bait and switch”
The “Share-Check” method for introducing fantasies and kinks gradually
Ways to test the waters before having a deeper conversation
Why trying new things together can strengthen long-term relationships
How couples discover new turn-ons through curiosity and communication
Why underwear is often much less “extreme” than people imagine
Breaking down shame around kinks and sexual interests
The importance of consent, communication, and mutual respect
Why you don’t owe everyone an explanation of your sexuality
Finding community if you feel like you’re the only one

Key Takeaways

Honest communication builds healthier relationships.
Your partner can’t support something they don’t know about.
Curiosity is healthier than shame.
Not every partner will share your kink—and that’s okay.
Being authentic helps you find people who truly accept you.
There is no “right” kink as long as it’s safe, consensual, and legal.
You are far from alone.

About Our Guest

Dr. Ty is a clinical sexologist and licensed sex therapist who helps individuals and couples navigate relationships, communication, intimacy, and sexuality without shame.

Connect with Dr. Ty: