One thing I definitely want to tackle with Free the Bulge is having difficult conversations. And sometimes, those conversations start with something as simple as telling someone why you love underwear.
That means talking to our partners and friends. Being more open about what we love, why we love it, and what it adds to our lives.
Trust me, explaining why you own 400 pairs of underwear isn’t always easy. People don’t necessarily get it. You try to explain, and they still don’t get it. You try again, and nothing clicks. That gets frustrating, especially when you’re sharing something that makes you happy.
One of the biggest misconceptions about loving underwear—and all our gear—is that it’s entirely sexual. Sure, sexuality can be part of it. There’s nothing wrong with that. But it’s only one part of the story.
Over the last few years, one of the things that has brought me the most happiness is this community. The friendships I’ve made. The conversations we’ve had. The freedom to be more open about something I love.
There’s something special about meeting another underwear lover and connecting instantly. You don’t have to explain the underwear before you can get to know each other. You already understand that part.
Instead, you get to geek out over your favorite styles, compare brands, and talk about that pair you can’t stop wearing. You don’t have to hesitate or wonder whether someone will judge you for what’s in your underwear drawer.
That shared understanding can be the start of a really good friendship. For a lot of us, it’s a connection we haven’t always found elsewhere.
But we need to have these conversations outside our community, too. And for some guys, that starts with their partner.
I’ve talked to plenty of guys in relationships who barely discuss their love of underwear with the person they’re with. They brush it aside or avoid bringing it up. Meanwhile, they’re participating in the community, using alternate accounts, or sharing pictures, and their partner is left wondering what it means.
Why are you posting? Are you trying to meet someone? Is this about hooking up?
Those questions can come up whether you’re bi, gay, or straight. When we haven’t explained what this community means to us, our partners may fill in the blanks themselves.
For many of us, sharing is about connecting with other guys who understand. It’s about celebrating what we love, feeling good about ourselves, and passing along what we’ve learned. Talking about that gives our partners a chance to understand—and gives us a chance to listen to their questions and discuss boundaries together.
And honestly, sharing that enthusiasm is fun.
Thongers are a perfect example. If you’ve ever talked to a guy who loves thongs, you know he probably has opinions. Favorite brands. Favorite cuts. The pair that made him a convert. I love hearing those stories. That passion is a huge part of what makes our community so much fun.
I want more guys to feel comfortable sharing that side of themselves.
That might mean telling a friend, “Hey, you should try these. I love the fit, and they make me feel great.” It might mean answering an awkward question instead of immediately changing the subject. It might mean finally telling your partner why underwear matters to you.
You don’t have to show everyone your underwear drawer. You get to decide what you share, with whom, and when. But when you feel ready, being a little more open can make room for a conversation you didn’t know you could have.
I’ve heard from guys who have talked about underwear with friends they’d never discussed it with before. At first, the reaction is, “Wait, what?” But once they get past that initial surprise, they find curiosity—and sometimes a shared interest.
That’s how we help this community grow. We talk to each other, and we make room for guys who haven’t found us yet.
There are guys out there who want to try something different. They want to feel sexy, confident, and desired. But they’re worried someone will laugh at them or make assumptions about what their underwear says about them.
They deserve to hear that it’s okay to wear something they love. It’s okay to feel sexy. It’s okay to put on a pair just because it makes them smile—even if nobody else sees it.
To me, that’s part of Free the Bulge: feeling comfortable enough with what we love to share it, and helping other guys find that confidence, too.
So let’s have those conversations. They might be awkward. They might surprise you. They might bring you closer to someone who matters to you.
If you’ve already had one, let me know how it went. The good, the bad, and the “well, that was awkward.” Sharing those experiences can help another guy find the words to start.
And if you need advice or a little encouragement, I’m here.
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