UNB has been a
passion project of mine for over 10 years. If you are a regular reader, you
already know that UNB is a site dedicated to true underwear/gear lovers and a
community to bond with guys no matter sexual orientation, race, or anything. I
have made some fantastic friends through the blog. Such as our former asst
editor Salvatore. He’s a straight guy but we bonded first over undies, and now
we are life long friends and still talk often.
However, when you
encounter guys or people outside of the underwear world (by this I mean people
who don’t get underwear), I get strange looks at the time. They think that I am
running a sex or hook up site. It’s like I’m the Larry Flint of the underwear
world. This is the look I am sometimes given by gay and straight people.
To Build a
Community
As many of you
know, I am a gay guy running the site. I have tried to keep a welcoming site
that accepts everyone. As we have seen the straight guys have come to the site
and joined as writers and assistant editors. This has been the goal since I
started the site. I wanted all guys to read it not just gay guys. Did I ever
think this would happen in the first 10 years, I did not. But it shows you put
out a passionate product it will connect with people.
In the last year or
so I have wanted to focus on building a community. Over the 10 years of UNB, we
have pivoted a few times in our goals. This one is super important to me. More
guys are sharing their love of underwear and gear online, without hesitation.
Some are doing it with 100% transparency. People like Scruffy Gear,
UndieLover24, and Sixfootfiveguy all are living their best underwear/gear life.
When we first
started UNB, there were not many ways to really put yourself out there. Now we
have Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr (well up till last year), and more. It’s no
longer shameful or strange to love underwear. It’s becoming more natural, and I
think some guys are asking themselves “Why am I not rocking the Pink Thong (or
insert any good pair of undies)?”
We have started
to interview influencers on social media and profile “real guys.” Sometimes the real guys showing off could be
model material. But they aren’t guys we are paying for shoots they are doing it
themselves and showing off. These guys all have agreed to be featured on the
site which is fantastic. I hope we get a lot more guys to join in and share
their love of underwear.
This brings me to
another thing I get asked. I have teamed up with Scruffy Gear Blog. He’s one of
the most amazing guys out there. Super friendly, down to earth and someone I
would definitely consider a friend. I have been asked by people “Why are you
promoting another underwear blog?” The short answer is we are all in this
together and should all be on the same team.
The long answer
is I love to support people doing great things. This includes brands, stores,
models, photographers, influencers and other bloggers. We all are doing
different things, and there is room for everyone in the space. There are very
few people in the world of underwear that I don’t like working with, and those
who I don’t build a community I prefer not to work with at all. It’s actually
rare brands, and others are banned from UNB. Life is too short and why hold a
grudge. Do I hold a grudge for some? That’s a story for another time. And I’ll
likely be in Vegas when I tell it. LOL
I should do more
to promote them and Men and Underwear. The other blog that I love. It’s
something I have on the road map for this year. And if you run a blog feel free
to reach out. It’s great to find guys who are bloggers.
UNB and my
personal life
I made a decision
back when UNB started that the blog is not about me. It’s about the industry
focusing on brands, retailers, models, photogs and real people. I was having a
discussion with Scruffy Gear blog I wish I had made it more about me, and we
commiserated on the pros and cons of both ways of doing a blog. I mean both
have their good and bad sides. And neither one is the best way to do a blog.
This is a little
inside baseball, but I try to put more of myself in the blog this past year but
after years of making it “journalistic” it is hard for me to dive right in and
share. I want to keep it objective, but I keep telling myself it’s a blog and I
can put in my personal feelings and such when I feel it’s necessary. So as the
year goes on you will see more. Plus I have body issues too. I’m a bigger guy
who loves undies. I haven’t always been, and I go up and down. So I am very
self-conscious on the whole thing. I shouldn’t be, but I am.
UNB has affected
my personal life. As I mentioned above when I make friends or potential dates,
I’m always upfront about UNB and what it is about and the future of the site. I
got the idea for this post from someone who was having issues with their
partner and undies (or could be issues). I’m of the school of dating where you
are honest and upfront. I know in the world of online dating it’s not common.
Most want to put the best version of their self out there and then let people
know the other stuff. UNB I’m pretty upfront around the 2-3 time talking. Some
people get what I am doing, turning my passion into a positive thing and making
it a job. While others get creeped out and are like “that’s a weird thing to
do.” Yes, I have had someone straight up tell me that. And with that, I said
“NEXT.”
UNB is in my DNA
and its something I have a love/hate relationship with, lol. Some say I’m
energized and on top of the world with the site. The other days it’s like “Do I
have to update it? I don’t want to work; I have no creative energy.” But it
usually goes back to the right side after a while. In the 10 years, there was
only once I considered selling the site, but that lasted about 10 mins after
the offer was made, and I said no!
I am not going to
be with someone, dating that is, who isn’t 100% ok with UNB. If you don’t get
it and don’t want me to do it, well we won’t be dating. I have no issue sitting
down with a guy and showing them the site and explaining precisely what I do
and show them the business I have built. It’s not a fortune 500 biz, but it is
something I am proud of, hell it’s the job I have had the longest! I think UNB
grounds me and keeps me steady. One reason for this is it changes from one year
to the next. I go look through the archives for TBT and see how I and the site
has grown. It keeps changing and growing, and that’s what the magic is for the
site.
UNB is a Dirty secret
I say this
because we have had more than one guy join, only to leave once their partner,
bf, gf, husband or wife, found out they were writing on an underwear blog. We
have had several guys this has happened to, so anytime a guy comes on the site
who is dating or married, I specifically ask A. if their partner is supportive
and knows they are writing for the site. B. that their partner is ok with us
sending review pairs to them. You wouldn’t believe the number of times we sent
undies to review and their partner intercepted it and interrogated them on who
is sending them undies.
It’s incredible
how many guys keep their love of undies as a little secret. In the world of
“fetishes,” this is pretty tame. I don’t consider myself an underwear fetish
guy but an underwear lover. A fetish is “any object or nongenital part of the
body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.” As defined by
dictionary.com. Underwear to me is a lifestyle. Underwear is more than just
sexual to me, granted we all have our stories that involve undies! But it’s
about comfort, fashion, and confidence. I pick underwear due to what the day
may hold. If I’m feeling down, I usually wear one of my favorites. If it’s
going to be active something that gives support. If I have to present or do
something like that, a pair that is wild and makes me smile knowing I have on a
leopard Cocksox bikini under my pants and none of these people watching me know
that.
I think so many
see underwear as something personal and we never share it. When we do, they
think we are wanting to either show off our sexual side or attract someone into
it for fun on the side. Since they equate underwear, especially designer
underwear, on the sexual side, they don’t see what we are doing. We need to
point out to them there is more than just the sexual side with undies. Once
they understand that, I think they will see UNB like a travel or food blog.
It’s something you enjoy, but it’s not a “fetish.”
This is part of
the reason I think we have seen the growth of straight guys reading the site.
They realize that we are about comfort and underwear. They feel welcome here
and a place they can be themselves around guys who get them. Most of our gay
readers are very welcoming to our straight readers. That’s because, in 10 years
of doing the blog, our origin stories are so similar. It amazes me how much
they are the same. We get each other and support one another. I have had so
many conversations with straight guys about undies that are just amazing. I
think they finally get a guy who gets it and it’s like the flood gate gets
open, and they can connect with someone like they never have before. It’s like
their own type of coming out. Gay guys can get away with cray and wild undies
in society because we’re supposed to be sexual animals. Whereas straight guys
shouldn’t be fashionable or embrace their sexual side.
WOW, I have
really been on my soapbox for this post. I wasn’t expecting to write such a
long post. However, I think a lot of this needs to be said, and I hope there
are some of you out there who can use this to approach friends or people you
are dating and be open and honest with them about undies. It’s not a sexual
thing, it’s a lifestyle thing. I think honesty is always a good thing and will
bring you a lot closer together.
UNB will continue
to evolve and grow. I have no plans of quitting the blog anytime soon. I do
wish I had a lot more help but right now it’s working for me, and I’m pivoting
again and getting into a new groove. As we enter our 2nd decade, I don’t know
what the future will hold, but I hope we bring in new guys into the world of
amazing men’s underwear. And feel free to reach out to me anytime for advice,
recommendations or just to say howdy and make a new friend. I will try to
answer emails and DM’s as quick as I can!
Thanks for
listening guys. Feel free to share your stories with us! We may profile you!
