Coming to terms:

My journey with #undies has really made me actually love myself and it has been life changing. #underwearpower

— Beau Briefs (@underloverwear) January 29, 2016

Last night I was tweeting, after a bit of wine, and I tweeted

and it got me thinking. It’s true. I have grown more and more to love myself. This self-love and acceptance seemed, upon further reflection to have an interesting correlation with my underwear hobby/obsession. However, as my old argumentation professor would be quick to point out correlation and causation are not the same thing. Very true. Underwear did not cause me to love myself but they added to my self-esteem and overall self-image. And then I realized something:

My relationship to underwear bears a strange and sort of beautiful resemblance to my relationship with my sexuality and in the end myself. So let’s dive down this rabbit hole.

When I was younger I would sneak old Nordstrom catalogs into my room and check out the underwear section, starting with the women’s but always fixating more on the men’s. So much was my unknown suffering at the time that I was even okay to be sneaking looks at gross, outdated, tighty-whities that I would one day come to mega-loath. I mean icky, old white pairs with the infamous thin gold band at the top. These were dark times.

Now I grew up in a very conservative household and I would have died if my parents knew that I was looking at the catalogs like this, let alone the men’s section. It was a secret and it was a secret that I even kept myself from acknowledging for a long, long time.

I remember once trying to cut a pair of my own underwear so that they would be more bikini brief style. The experiment did not go well. Much like trying to find and make the partner that one wants out of the clearly wrong ones. Sorry girls. There are times and situations in our lives that demand flexibility and making things work. Yet there are things in our lives that we have to realize don’t fit or conform for a reason. Those old tighty-whities were never meant to become bikini briefs, never.

Eventually I would come to buy my first pair of nice underwear, black Calvin Klein hip briefs. From there I would buy random off brands of different cuts and styles from the likes of Fred Meyers or Macy’s (Bon Marche for the PNW back then, shout out!). Yet every so often I would purge the underwear from my life. Round up all of the ones I had bought secretly, put them in a paper grocery bag and throw them away. Burying them deep in the garage can so they wouldn’t be seen.

I promised myself to keep everything “conventional”. I would discipline myself, train myself. Somehow I saw underwear as a gateway, a secret acknowledgement to the even bigger secret that I, like the undies in the trash, had buried so far down that I wouldn’t let myself truly discover it. From deep down in the drawer to hidden deep in the closet and then to deep in the garbage, this was not to be spoken of.

This went on for years. I would “slip” and buy a pair of undies and just like that the collection would grow again. Being able to drive to Seattle and shop at more scandalous stores with a big, vast selection accelerated this trend. Build it up. Bury it down. Repeat. And at every step of the way, fear.

Fear was ever present. What if my mother discovered a pair of different underwear? What if I were exposed while changing at school? In my mind, one slip up would leave me alone, banished, outcast. Not until years and years later did I realize that I was actually imposing those realities on myself because of this fear.

Naturally this cycle coincided with the cycle inside my head about who I was. Right when I was about to reach a point of admitting my deep down secret to myself I would purge all traces of acknowledgement from my life. To use what I now see as a terribly offensive term, I would cleanse myself of it all. My 17-20 year old self probably would have used that term in the moment and I know now how detrimental that was to my self-love. There was nothing to cleanse, there was everything to embrace.

And so it went. Cycle after cycle. Nowadays I have a semi-massive underwear collection and I sometimes laugh to think about how large it would be if I never went through those purges. Similarly, I wonder how much fuller my life would be if I hadn’t dismissed myself or the real me.

Finally, I couldn’t escape it anymore. I LOVED underwear. I loved having it, I loved buying it, I loved wearing it and sometimes yes, I loved showing it off. It made me feel good about myself, it made me feel like a more realized version of myself. If you ask me, I am never sexier or happier than when I am rocking a great pair of underwear.

I accepted it, finally! It only took me 21 years. I let the collection grow, expand and get more diverse. At the same time, I slowly mustered the courage to love and accept myself. I unburied the secret I had been actively shoving down for years on end. I opened that trash covered paper bag and I let my true self out. And it was breathtaking. I could look in the mirror, into my face and be as happy with the person I saw looking back as I could look at underwear in the mirror and be proud. I was me and I was free.

To this day my underwear collection is a reflection and a beacon of who I am. It is my favorite and most valued expression of who I am, all of me. And I love it. And I love myself, my real self.

I understand that the love of underwear might seem stereotypical or over blown to some people and that’s fine but I don’t care. I really did treat this love, this passion as a reference to my sexuality and my acknowledgement of myself. I invested in it only to dispose of it in secret. I prized it only to tarnish it internally. And finally I let the world know. And thank goodness I did because I have never been happier.

It’s MAGIC WEEK! New readers maybe asking “What the heck is Magic week?” Is is something to do with magicians? No it’s a trade show in Las Vegas that is held every February and August. The purpose is to show buyers new items for the coming months. The show is not just underwear. Its everything form suits, jeans to accessories. Buyers and exhibitors come from all over the world.

Magic is no longer Magic! There is another show called Curve that used to have a lot more men’s brands. Currently its 99% women’s brands. In the last two years two new shows have come to Vegas. The new shows are Liberty and Markt. A few of the underwear brands are going to them. In the past Nasty Pig and Naked attend Liberty. Wood Underwear now goes to Markt.

I originally went to Magic in February 2010. It was something Baskit said I needed to do to get to know the brands. They flew me out to the show and I spent one day in Vegas. I got to talk in person to all these people I had known via email and phone calls. It was a lot of fun! I was so tired after the day. I got to as many brands as I could but still needed to see more. Also, I learned about Curve. About half the brands were there in 2010 and I missed out on a lot of people.

We flash forward to August 2010 and I went to both shows! I spent one day at Curve and one day at Magic. I would have 35 to 40 brands to see. It was go go go from the beginning. At Magic they would have some upstairs and some downstairs. I had to walk about 20,000 steps a day. After my day I would go back to my hotel room and crash!

Not all brands were at the shows. Some would show in suites. I like the suite meetings. They are a bit more laid back and easy going. Plus you can have a model up in a suite! That is where we shot a lot of our N2N Bodywear videos. But this adds to walking. If you have ever been to the Mandalay Bay Convention Center its a long walk from the Hotel to the Convention center. Just imagine doing it 3-4 times in a day!

I have met a lot of great brands over the years. They include: Pistol Pete, Baskit, Go Softwear, N2N Bodywear, Cocksox, 2EROS, teamm8, 2(X)IST, Bwet, C-IN2, Nasty Pig, Boy Rio, Wood Underwear, Good Boy Gone Bad, Jack Adams, Gregg Homme, Papi, Mundo Unico, Manus Swim, Garcon Model, and the list goes on an on!

Over the years there have been some changes to the shows. The first is there are less brands going. The shows aren’t cheap to exhibit at and a few brands no longer show. Which sucks because I really love talking to them in person and bringing you guys undies. Some brands only go in February and skip the August show. This past August there were around 20 brands to see. Way down from 40 in the early 2010’s. This trend will continue and in 10 years we may not have all the brands in one area.

The other change that we aren’t happy with and brands aren’t either is the lack of models. They moved everyone to a different area and have clamped down on brands having models. This is how we did videos and pictures to help cover the events. If you noticed less videos this is why. Only 3-4 brands had models this last show. Will this change for this year? I doubt it.

In the future more brands will be doing business on the internet. Relying less on shows. But this will allow the internet to do more. Things like Skype/Hangout Video chats will take the place of shows. We are starting to do that on UNB as well. I will miss going to Vegas two times a year. I love the town and have a few traditions such as Secrets Pizza, Mermaid’s Deep Fried Twinkies, Bellagio Fountain show and more! But that’s what vacation is for right?

Happy Valentine’s Day guys. I say Valentine’s is the biggest underwear wearing day of the year. ! Why is it the biggest underwear wearing day? We all want to wear something to make us feel sexy through out the night. Then hopefully the same pair is sexy to our partner. But what about us single guys out there. Should we be left out of the underwear for the day? I say hell no! We will explore both sides of the coin!

If you’re married, engaged or dating. I think underwear is very important on this day. Its really a day you both can share your love of underwear. If you have a supportive other half, it would be great for them to give you a pair of undies for the night. I mean what’s not to love when that special person picks underwear for you? Something you will love to wear and they will love to see you in! Now if you have a partner who isn’t going to buy you underwear, its up to you to get something fun!

I have found that many people I have dated don’t get underwear. However, they never minded me wearing something super fun for after hours. They were amazed at how many pairs I did have and some over time really got into them. I have had very few partners buy me undies but it has happened! If your partner isn’t into it wear something that you feel amazing in but nothing too far over the top that will scare them off undies. Dropping your pants to have a hot pink lace thong maybe a bit much. But if you have an ample package or bubble butt, find undies that accent them. Especially if they love that part of you!

What if you’re single? Should you miss out on amazing underwear on Valentine’s Day? I unequivocally say HELL NO. Even if we don’t have a special someone that doesn’t mean we should wear bad undies for the day. I think it gives us even more of an incentive to wear great undies. Sure no one may see it but us, but think of how great you will feel wearing it all day. Even if you plan to Netflix and chill, by yourself!

Being single on Valentine’s Day we should try something different and fun. Why not step out of our box and wear something mesh, smaller cut or soft fabric. Brands you should consider are Gregg Homme, BodyAware, Cellblock 13, and Modus Vivendi. Each of these brands has something sexy and different. If you are like me wearing super sexy underwear just makes me feel so much better, even if no one is going to see it! So why should all the married/partnered/dating people have all the underwear fun!

We hope you have a great Valentine’s Day with or without a date!

When we say the word lace, what comes to your mind? Is it, OMG it’s so sexy on a guy. Or, please god no it’s too girlish. I doubt very few of you say “I don’t have an opinion.” It seems no matter what you think about the topic, most guys have an opinion. So we are going to explore the world of lace. What better holiday than Valentine’s Day to do it !

Lace underwear for men have become popular in the last 6 years. Before 2010, I don’t remember seeing much of it on the market. There were fetish pairs but nothing in the “mainstream” of men’s underwear. Brands such as Candyman, BodyAware, Male Power and MaleBasics have become the brands producing lace underwear for men. The best thing is each one has their own individual style when it comes to lace.

Why is lace becoming so popular? I would say guys are allowing themselves to try more fabrics and styles. We no longer are getting boxed in to boxers! (yeah that’s a bad pun but I had to go with it). Briefs, bikinis, jocks and thongs are now all acceptable for guys to wear. Lace can make you feel super sexy, now bare with me non lace guys. I hear many of you going, “come on Tim, I want underwear for men, and if I wanted lace pick up a pair of women’s underwear.” Yes you could do that but lace underwear for men is made for men.

How is it made for men? The lace pairs on the market have a pouch and room up front. If you have seen women’s underwear there is nothing up front for support for a guy. The cuts are perfected for a guy. Most pairs I have seen have been bikinis, thongs and some boy shorts. Yes, I have tried lace underwear. I did a review of the Male Power Lace Bikinis and I was surprised how much I liked them. Will I wear them every day? Nope but for an occasional wearing it’s all good.

Lace underwear is for Fem guys or gay guys? This is not true. Lace underwear is a really interesting set of guys who like it. It’s not all gay or all straight. It’s a mix of both. There are gay guys who are like “Hell no I won’t wear that.” While there are straight guys who are like “I love how sexy they are.” It’s basically a cross section of all guys into undies.

I don’t care Tim I won’t wear lace underwear! If you say this, I may not change your mind on the issue. As guys I think we all need to try different styles when we can. Why get locked into one specific style or fabric. UNB has taught me there are things I think I won’t like, that I turn out loving.

If you are interested in lace underwear and want to try it. Go shop BodyAware, Male Basics and Candyman Fashion. We want to know what you think of lace underwear! Hit us up on Twitter or social media.

You may remember this shoot from last year! This was our Black forValentine’s Day! Shoot! This picture was shot by Taylor Campbell and features model Nathan. He’s wearing the N2N Bodywear Black bikinis!

We launched our Patreon a few months back. It’s a way for if you like what you see and want to help us take UNB to the next level, you can commit to giving as little as a $1 a month! To help us grow and do more amazing things! If we could get 1/4 of all our monthly readers to give $1 we would do so much with that! I know $1 doesn’t seem like much but the number of you guys would make those dollars turn into something awesome.

Some things to know about Patreon. You can definitely remain anonymous. We don’t have to post your name or anything on the site. As long as you give your information to Patreon (which remains confidential) you can do it with out knowing who you are! You can donate as little or as much money you want a month.

What do we want to do with the money you guys donate? First we will never put ads in the feed or in posts. I hate this and it ruins the experience of reading the blog.This will also include sponsored posts. Reviews that are furnished and photo shoots are the only things we accept money or free product.  Second, we will help upgrade UNB technology. That would include new video equipment/software, computers and server costs. Lastly, it would allow us to buy more undies from around the world to review and share with you guys.

So how do you give to Patreon? Just go to the UNB Page – https://www.patreon.com/unbblog . Its a simple process to set up and you can cancel at anytime. This isn’t a membership or long term contract. We have gone this route because we love our readers and want to be accountable to you guys and do things you want to see on the site! If you have any questions feel free to reach out to us and we will gladly answer them!

If you enjoy the blog consider donating. Who knows you may get to know our guys and there could be something good in it for you. We will change reward levels and goals when we feel it will benefit you guys!

Are you a fan of Clever Moda? Pikante? PetitQ? or Xtermen? Right now at Candyman Fashion they are giving you 30% off each brand! No code necessary. Also spend $50 or more and get free shipping in the US. Outside of the US get flat rate international shopping.