After our survey for the Podcast content you guys want to hear, Masculinity is a big part of the conversation you want to hear us take on! Which is amazing, and we are all up for it, but where do you want the conversation to go? I have several ideas and thoughts n the subject but we always love your input on your point of view and thinks you are curious about.
Here are some of my ideas:
- Do we portray a Persona on Social Media? – online, we all portray a “persona” of the ideal guy we want to convey. Do we try to make it more masculine than we are? Basically, do we create a character to post online? If so, why? It could be good or bad.
- Are there rules about what men’s underwear is? – Do we have rules about what is masculine in men’s underwear? For example, the primary culture in America says Boxer Briefs are what “real men” should wear. However, in our space, we are exploring so much more; Bikinis, thongs, lace, and more are standard; are these masculine? Do we care?
- Is masculinity defined unevenly? – Is it ok for a gay guy to wear a bikini or thong and get away with it because he is “gay.” While straight guys are held to a different standard? Most straight men don’t feel comfortable talking undie to their buddies and even wearing swim briefs in front of them. Shouldn’t we be letting all guys define what is right for them without throwing around you’re not a man or masculine if you wear things? Hence the “that’s gay” comments.
- Who gets to say what is Masculine? – Who gets to set the arbitrary rules about what is masculine in today’s society? Or should it be up to the individual to set their own rules? Over time, the definition of what is masculine has changed. Are we seeing more people resist because we are in a period of change to what has been the standard definition of masculinity?
- Are we focusing too much on the ideal “masculinity? – In the gay world, there is a big deal about if you are masc or fem. Are we focusing too much on the ideals of masculinity and applying unrealistic standards? Is this making guys be less themselves and focus on trying to be the ideal masculine man? One example is “A masc guy would never be caught dead in a thong, a jock yes, a thong no.” This carries over to the straight world as well, especially when it comes to underwear and the choices guys make.
These are a few ideas I’m thinking about for shows, and in 2024 we are going to follow up podcasts with more posts on the blog about them. I’m going to try to get myself some of our contributors to write further about the subject in greater detail or a part they are super passionate about.
2 Comments
Think many post a persona online which is just one side of who they are. Many reasons why & why is different for different people. Are definitely rules/norms (variable by country) around male undies/swimwear. Can be toxic masculinity at extreme end but social norm at other end which most guys won’t defy, especially in hetro relationships where females often seem more challenged than guys by alternative undies/swimwear & think their guy is not ‘masculine’ if they’re not also affronted or they’re open minded about alternatives. Effectively, straight guys are held to a different standard. ‘They must be gay really’ is the prevailing view if guys do defy the norms. That just disses gays & straights. Would be viewed as discrimination /harassment if the logic was applied to females. Which brings me to the number of females who don’t see the irony in walking past a straight guy in a thong/string at the beach (me) & sniggering, making snide/rude comments etc while wearing a thong/string themselves. Again, if guy did that to a female, the female would call out sexism/harassment & possibly call lifeguards. There is some change in the more liberal parts of the younger generation at least in their attitudes to speedos vs boardies but it’s not enough. Heteronormative conservative masculinity continues to be acceptable & alternatives (eg wear what you like & feel comfortable wearing) not so much
Is masculinity defined unevenly? Is a good subject matter. Besides the double standards between men and women wearing thobgs or bikinis we also have the preceived view of masculinity from the straight perspective the gay scene as well as cultural differences. (i.e. Europe and South America)